Monday, August 23, 2010
New e-book
A follow-up (not a sequel) to "The Silver and the Cross" (Comfort Publishing, 2010), my new e-book called"Violet Victorious" is now available on Kindle, lulu.com, and smashwords.com. This historical inspirational romance is set in 1902 Wallace, north Idaho - one of my favorite historical towns. Cheers, Kathleen
"How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack, by Chuck Sambuchino
Recently I interviewed author Chuck Sambuchino, whose new book, "How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack", will be released on September 7, 2010. (personal note: I've read the book and found it very funny.)
Churck, what prompted you to write this book; have you or anyone you know ever experienced a household assault by garden gnomes? Answer: Thankfully, due to (my family's) preparedness (some would call it "ridiculous paranoia"), attacks have been kept to a minimum. We would not have been so lucky were we not so cautious.
I'm curious: Why do garden gnomes want to get rid of humans? Are they intrinsically evil; do they want to take over our homes? Why can't they just build their own? Answer: One theory is that they want our tools and metal; another is that they need our spices for potions and food. But the bottom line is that they're just plain evil. People need to stop thinking about the "why" and start thinking about "how can I destory them before they destroy me".
After hearing about building a moat around the house to protect us from GG's, my teenager is eager to start digging. How wide/deep should the moat be? And couldn't gnomes make boats out of pieces of bark, etc.? Answer: I'd say it should be at least three feet wide, two feet deep. Yes, gnomes may use a mushroom-top raft to try and cross the moat; watch for that. They may also use twigs or branches to form a crude bridge. One thing gnomeowners are usually not prepared for is the sudden change in weather, like when the top layer of you moat freezes and a usable land-bridge suddenly makes you vulnerable.
If we create a moat, I'm concerned about how our cat will get to and from our house on her daily excursions. Is it possible to build a cat-walk, so to speak? Can GG's climb? Answer: I'd say the days of your cat enjoying safe, leisurely walks are over. The cat was no doubt a high-risk target in the first place. Garden gnomes have been known to climb and even sling-shot themselves.
Speaking of pets, you mention in your book possible dangers to them from GG's. We have a red heeler who is very eager to guard us and our house but has more enthusiasm than sense. How do we protect her from gnomes? Answer: Now that I'm back from Wikipedia and know that a red heeler is a medium-sized herding dog, I'd say your are in luck because a guard dog is one of the best precautions to ward of attacks. To protect your pooch, just don't let her drink anything from outside (in case of gnome poisoning) and don't let her leave the backyard and go into the woods.
In your book, you have a lot of photographs of gnomes doing sneaky things. Do all of these gnomes live on your own property? If so, aren't you very afraid? Answer: They live near me; those photos were taken someplace else by the bravest photographer known to man. We made our photographer sign about 50 waivers.
Have you written other books? What are you currently writing? Answer: I stay busy being the editor of an annual book called "Guide to Literary Agents" (guidetoliteraryagents.com/blog), a resource which helps people who have written a book find reprsentation and get their work published. (The updated 2011 edition came out in August 2010). I'm also the author of a book called "Formatting & Submitting Your Manuscript, 3rd Ed." (2009), which helps writers know how their work should look and how to submit it to agents/editors.
Note from Kathleen: Chuck Sambuchino also runs a large blog on publishing, www.guidetoliteraryagents.com/blog. I subscribe to it, and it's been a great resource. Chuck is also a "magazine freelancer, playwright, husband, owner of a flabby dog, cover band guitarist, and all-around chocolate chip cookie fiend."
Churck, what prompted you to write this book; have you or anyone you know ever experienced a household assault by garden gnomes? Answer: Thankfully, due to (my family's) preparedness (some would call it "ridiculous paranoia"), attacks have been kept to a minimum. We would not have been so lucky were we not so cautious.
I'm curious: Why do garden gnomes want to get rid of humans? Are they intrinsically evil; do they want to take over our homes? Why can't they just build their own? Answer: One theory is that they want our tools and metal; another is that they need our spices for potions and food. But the bottom line is that they're just plain evil. People need to stop thinking about the "why" and start thinking about "how can I destory them before they destroy me".
After hearing about building a moat around the house to protect us from GG's, my teenager is eager to start digging. How wide/deep should the moat be? And couldn't gnomes make boats out of pieces of bark, etc.? Answer: I'd say it should be at least three feet wide, two feet deep. Yes, gnomes may use a mushroom-top raft to try and cross the moat; watch for that. They may also use twigs or branches to form a crude bridge. One thing gnomeowners are usually not prepared for is the sudden change in weather, like when the top layer of you moat freezes and a usable land-bridge suddenly makes you vulnerable.
If we create a moat, I'm concerned about how our cat will get to and from our house on her daily excursions. Is it possible to build a cat-walk, so to speak? Can GG's climb? Answer: I'd say the days of your cat enjoying safe, leisurely walks are over. The cat was no doubt a high-risk target in the first place. Garden gnomes have been known to climb and even sling-shot themselves.
Speaking of pets, you mention in your book possible dangers to them from GG's. We have a red heeler who is very eager to guard us and our house but has more enthusiasm than sense. How do we protect her from gnomes? Answer: Now that I'm back from Wikipedia and know that a red heeler is a medium-sized herding dog, I'd say your are in luck because a guard dog is one of the best precautions to ward of attacks. To protect your pooch, just don't let her drink anything from outside (in case of gnome poisoning) and don't let her leave the backyard and go into the woods.
In your book, you have a lot of photographs of gnomes doing sneaky things. Do all of these gnomes live on your own property? If so, aren't you very afraid? Answer: They live near me; those photos were taken someplace else by the bravest photographer known to man. We made our photographer sign about 50 waivers.
Have you written other books? What are you currently writing? Answer: I stay busy being the editor of an annual book called "Guide to Literary Agents" (guidetoliteraryagents.com/blog), a resource which helps people who have written a book find reprsentation and get their work published. (The updated 2011 edition came out in August 2010). I'm also the author of a book called "Formatting & Submitting Your Manuscript, 3rd Ed." (2009), which helps writers know how their work should look and how to submit it to agents/editors.
Note from Kathleen: Chuck Sambuchino also runs a large blog on publishing, www.guidetoliteraryagents.com/blog. I subscribe to it, and it's been a great resource. Chuck is also a "magazine freelancer, playwright, husband, owner of a flabby dog, cover band guitarist, and all-around chocolate chip cookie fiend."
Friday, July 30, 2010
Book signing
Huckleberry Festival, Wallace, Idaho, Sat., August 21.... Railroad Station. I'll be signing copies of "The Silver and the Cross", which is set in 1890 Wallace; 10-noon. It's a fun festival celebrating our wonderful little mountain berry!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack
Thanks to a soon-to-be-released book, "How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack", by Chuck Sambuchino, my household has recently become aware of the danger of having garden gnomes in one's yard. Just in the past week, two giant mushrooms (real ones!) appeared overnight beside our own garden gnome (we suspected Brian, but he claims he didn't plant them); the gnome has moved around the front yard several times; and just yesterday we discovered it had actually insinuated itself into our house and is even now sitting in a basket in the guest bathroom! Yikes! "How to Survive a Garden Ghome Attack" is coming out on September 7, 2010, so be on the lookout for it. This book could save your life!
In other North Idaho news.... I have a literary agent for my historical inspirational novels and I'm very pleased about that; I'm busy writing a paranormal romance based on the Merlin legends as well as another in my Wallace, Idaho historical romance series; I'm tutoring a pre-kindergartener two mornings a week; and I'm trying to keep Dylan busy (lots of yard work!) between Scout camps and visitors. AND, it may actually, finally, be summer here! Maybe I can even break out my kayak!
Cheers and blessings,
Kathleen
In other North Idaho news.... I have a literary agent for my historical inspirational novels and I'm very pleased about that; I'm busy writing a paranormal romance based on the Merlin legends as well as another in my Wallace, Idaho historical romance series; I'm tutoring a pre-kindergartener two mornings a week; and I'm trying to keep Dylan busy (lots of yard work!) between Scout camps and visitors. AND, it may actually, finally, be summer here! Maybe I can even break out my kayak!
Cheers and blessings,
Kathleen
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Spring
Spring in north Idaho means 75 degrees and sunny one day, rain with thunder and lightening another. For a former Californian, where weather means it's 75 degrees every day for months and it might freeze a couple of times during the "winter", the lack of consistency here in Idaho is strange. Sometimes entertaining, though.
So, as far as writing... I'm putting the final touches on my 1902 historical Christian romance, "Violet's Victory" and have roused a bit of interest in it among a couple of agents and a publisher. I'm continuing to work on my paranormal fantasy, "Immortal Sorcerer" and my YA fantasy, "Tyrala". I continue to love writing and find that the biggest difficulty I have is not being able to sit at my computer for as many hours as I'd like to without stiffening up! Or without dogs wanting me to entertain them. Or something. I'm very lucky.
I'm reminded of how fortunate I am when I realize that three people in my "sphere" have cancer and are fighting it, hard. Other people I know have had serious accidents in the past year and may never completely recover. My parents have both had joint replacement surgery this year, which, while wonderful and amazing, is still stressful and painful.
Cheers and blessings from north Idaho, where one of these days it will be summer and the bright orange kayak will be launched on Lake Pend Oreille.
So, as far as writing... I'm putting the final touches on my 1902 historical Christian romance, "Violet's Victory" and have roused a bit of interest in it among a couple of agents and a publisher. I'm continuing to work on my paranormal fantasy, "Immortal Sorcerer" and my YA fantasy, "Tyrala". I continue to love writing and find that the biggest difficulty I have is not being able to sit at my computer for as many hours as I'd like to without stiffening up! Or without dogs wanting me to entertain them. Or something. I'm very lucky.
I'm reminded of how fortunate I am when I realize that three people in my "sphere" have cancer and are fighting it, hard. Other people I know have had serious accidents in the past year and may never completely recover. My parents have both had joint replacement surgery this year, which, while wonderful and amazing, is still stressful and painful.
Cheers and blessings from north Idaho, where one of these days it will be summer and the bright orange kayak will be launched on Lake Pend Oreille.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Spring
The maple tree outside my office window is budding out... the rasperry bushes Brian planted last year are growing... my gardener husband is spending every spare moment doing his thing outside (bless his heart!)... my kindergarten students are full of sun-stoked energy... my thoughts are turning to beach-sitting with friends, kayaking, and heading to the coast (Pt. Townsend) on a family vacation this summer. Must stay focused and in the moment! Book-signing (The Silver and the Cross) at Borders Books in Coeur d'Alene on Sat., May 1, 2-4. Cheers!
Monday, March 22, 2010
Spring in North Idaho
It's only March 22, and a few hardy plants are pushing up green already. It's an early spring for this far north... Our "lasagna" beds (no, we are not growing lasagna; it's a gardening technique!) are ready and Gardener Brian is eager to be a-plantin'. His wife and son are eager to eat the results... I'm spending my mornings teaching "The Wild Things" (otherwise known as extended-day kindergarteners) with my co-teacher, Jenni; the afternoons, marketing my new historical Christian romance novel, "The Silver and the Cross". I am tired of marketing; I just want to WRITE! I'm particularly excited about diving back into my YA fantasy, "Tyrala". Happy trails....
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